


talk me down

by iiridescent



Category: Twenty One Pilots, joshler - Fandom
Genre: AU - No Band, AU - teenagers, Angst, Drama, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, but no homo, joshler - Freeform, m e g a gay, really gay, they have a special emotional bond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 21:51:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10173107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiridescent/pseuds/iiridescent
Summary: josh and tyler meet each other as silhouettes under the 3am sky.josh is afraid.tyler is alone.[ inspired by talk me down - troye sivan. lowercase intended. ]





	

**Author's Note:**

> i know this isn't that great. i'm still figuring this one out. stick with me. <3

**[ tyler ]**

the night was colder than usual.

tyler wrapped his arms around himself as he walked, a desperate attempt to protect himself from the frigid breeze. it bit at him, taunting him, pushing him even deeper into the dark hole of his mind. every force of nature seemed to be working against him. the night swallowed him, the wind tore at him. the dark stretched figures of the trees loomed over him, threatening to fall.

he couldn't get away. tyler continued walking, but he wasn't leaving his thoughts behind with each step. he was picking them up; absorbing them from the shadows and the choking wind. his lungs were heavy, his blood turned to lead.

the neighborhood was silent. the yellow streetlights made the shadows deeper and strengthened the voices in tyler’s head.

everything was silent except for him. a hurricane was rising inside his mind.

he walked along the sidewalk for a bit further, focusing on the cracks in the cement. he knew each of them like the back of his hand; all of this was too familiar. too familiar. he was imprisoned here, in this dark suburban hellhole he was forced to call home. tyler didn't know if he would ever find a home, someplace he felt at ease. this was far too isolating; the houses were crammed together, but the people made him feel so distant. each word they spoke was sour, every glance a him a threat. his family wanted to disown him. part of him hoped they would.

tyler looked up with a pang of confusion. he'd wandered into the forest at some point and the sidewalk gave away to dirt. the shadows felt more comfortable here, the darkness shielding him rather than choking him. he looked up. the stars peeked through the branches like tiny beacons of light and the soft moonlight turned all the trees into twisting silhouettes.

carefully stepping over branches, he wandered off the path. tyler tried to get himself lost. eventually, he did; he found a spot tucked away that he'd never seen. a bundle of fallen trees and small branches were arranged messily to create a fort of some kind. it had very obviously been abandoned-- most of it was torn apart or destroyed by wind and rain.

tyler cleared a spot near a fallen tree and took a seat. he breathed in deeply and listened to the calm silence.

tomorrow. he would figure this out tomorrow.

**[ josh ]**

josh ran through the streets, the shadows chasing him. he couldn't get away. with each step his legs grew weaker and his breaths more labored, the shadows gaining on him. he was shoved and bitten and torn by the cruel darkness.

but he kept moving.

the urge to give up became overwhelming. the wind was burning him. too cold. everything was fucking cold. he hadn't felt warmth in god knows how long. he pushed himself further, not turning back, never succumbing to the immense darkness infesting his brain, even when the pain became unimaginable.

he veered off the sidewalk, entering the forest. this was dangerous, but more comfortable-- the trees here gave him a sense of safety. the darkness was thick, though. if he faltered he would fall behind and become lost.

josh tore through the trees, panting, his lungs burning. soon. he could stop running soon. he was ahead of them, and they could never find their way through the forest.

after what seemed like hours of twisting through trees and shoving away branches, the darkness retreated. he was still worn out, his whole body burning, but the sensation of safety was creeping back to him.

josh approached a fallen tree and collapsed against it. he slumped down and looked up at the sky, but it was a blurred mess. he didn't remember starting to cry. josh noticed he was trembling, too. and not from the cold this time. a deep empty ache filled his chest.

he leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. he was hopeless, lost in the vast abyss of his own mind.

after he steadied his own breathing, josh looked at the sky again, focusing on each star. he counted them silently to calm his anxiety. there were so many of them; their brightness filled his head, each dot imprinted in his memory.

he got to thirty-four when a sharp voice rang out.

“what are you doing here?”

**[ tyler ]**

he was enjoying the silence. it made the pain retreat, if only for a bit. tyler watched the stars glitter in the sky and the branches sway in the wind. he considered staying here for eternity, basking in the darkness and watching the world turn.

then he heard noises.

the crunch of leaves and human breathing came closer. it was only a moment before there was someone-- merely a silhouette-- collapsed against the tree next to him.

tyler just watched.

he didn't know what to say or do. this felt like an invasion of privacy, if anything-- tyler was trying to cleanse his mind. this wasn't helping. the loud breathing was more than aggravating, and he wasn't the one that was going to move. plus, there were hundreds of other fallen trees in the forest, and this was the one they chose to collapse against. fucking hell.

“what are you doing here?” he felt himself say. there was an angry sting in his words.

he saw the figure tense. it was a moment before their head turned. the moon illuminated their silhouette at the angle and-- holy shit-- they had yellow hair. their figure was definitely masculine, the outline of broad shoulders and a loose sweatshirt visible. a second or two passed, but it felt like an eternity. tyler anticipated any movement. none came except the rapid rise and fall of their chest.

“yellow hair? why?”

the figure finally breathed in shakily, struggling to stand. he stumbled away from tyler. “i'm s-sorry, i'll leave. i should've--”

“no, stay.”

tyler instantly regretted those words.

he didn't know what made him say the two words. maybe it was because he was delirious-- maybe it was because he didn't want to be alone after all. he found the latter quite improbable. he'd rather talk to the stars than to a stranger with yellow hair.

he stopped, turned, and slumped against against the log, this time a bit further from tyler.

“i mean, you can go if you want.” tyler added.

the figure said nothing. he just turned their head to the sky again, inhaling shakily. seconds passed-- tense seconds. tyler watched uneasily, nearly telling him to leave again. this wasn't very amusing.

“i was running from them,” the stranger said quietly, barely making it through the sentence. his voice was hoarse and quiet, and the way it was worded gave it all away. tyler had said it too many times before.

a shiver ran down his spine.

he understood.

“from who?” he responded gently. he already knew-- but he wanted details. he felt the need to help, to comfort them and let them know they weren't alone. as much as he wanted to, he couldn't. he couldn't string together a sentence to make them understand. hell, he couldn't even convince himself of anything anymore.

“not w-who,” he whispered. “what.” the words chilled tyler to the core. he regained his composure and spoke again.

“i can't explain, i'm sorry.”

“no, that's okay,” tyler reassured. “you don't need to.”

their words were carried away on the breeze. it seemed a bit warmer, now. the silhouette shifted, releasing a breath.

“i, um…” the words were stuck in tyler’s throat. “i think i get what you mean.”

“really?”

“yeah.” then a short silence. he summoned the strength to continue.

“i have this feeling sometimes, like i'm in a cage. i'm imprisoned here. i can't leave, and i want to. i need to-- it’s suffocating me. i don’t-- i don't have the strength to get out. it all feels so empty, yet there's so many threatening shadows and things lurking in corners. i just-- i can't stay in this neighborhood anymore.” when he finished, he was out of breath. tyler didn't feel like a weight had lifted off his shoulders. apparently you're supposed to feel that when you rant about something. he just felt confused and tired, fighting the urge to look up at the stars again. him talking was the only thing keeping him from floating upward and joining the constellations.

“i get it,” the stranger said. there was a long pause, and tyler waited anxiously. he watched the silhouette outlined by the moonlight, observing the way his chest rose and fell. his breathing was getting slower, steadier.

“it's different for me, though. it occurs without warning-- the suffocated feeling. there's no way out, and the shadows are chasing me. not just the shadows, but the s-stars, and the moon, and the trees, and the sky.” he steadied his breathing, then added quietly: “and sometimes i can't outrun them.”

tyler nodded. “it just happens out of the blue?”

“sometimes. and sometimes it happens when things aren't going so well.”

tyler glanced at him. he knew this feeling. he knew how he felt, and how he lived, because he was living this too. he felt an echo of empathy somewhere in his hollow chest.

“ever since i told them, they stopped loving me.” his voice wavered, enough to strike something more in tyler. he understood, and it overwhelmed him. the echo turned into a crashing wave.

the figure lowered his head. tyler opened his mouth to speak, yet nothing came out. he took a deep breath.

“i-i'm sorry.”

tyler didn't know what it was like. he'd never come out to anyone, and he doubted he would for awhile. but simply imagining a hint of the emotional pain-- a portion of the strife and hopelessness-- was enough to break him.

“yeah.” he responded.

it just them and the stars for a moment. tyler played with a patch of moss, thinking, then made a decision. he cautiously moved closer to the boy, close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of him and to see each delicate curve of his face outlined in moonlight. he wished he could capture this moment and draw it. he wanted so badly to replicate each shadow and curve, to recreate each glowing shade of white. 

“i’m bi,” tyler said. the words came easier than he thought they would, even though he felt as if the whole forest was watching him. “nobody knows that, though. my family’s already disappointed in me for wanting to be something else, so i haven’t told them. i’m never enough, you know? they told me i was too boring. i started doing music and wearing a fucking flower kimono and they flip their shit. no matter what i do, they still hate me.”

“i’m sorry,” the boy said, genuine sympathy in his tone. tyler was suddenly infatuated with the sound of his voice. “and...a flower kimono? that sounds so great. i want one.” he turned his head and tyler caught a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“you could borrow it sometime, you know. if you want to.”

the boy laughed. tyler was pretty sure his heart stopped beating. his laugh was dripping with color-- even in the darkness, he could see how his face scrunched up and his smile reflected the moonlight. he was suddenly too aware of how little space he’d put between himself and this stranger; he was too aware of the trace of a smile left on the boy’s lips, just barely visible in the dark of night.

tyler’s phone beeped. he pulled it out of his pocket, thankful for the distraction-- a snapchat notification. the time read 3:18 AM.

“i better get back,” he said. he regretted the words almost as much as the first time. “it’s a quarter after three and i have a test tomorrow.”

“okay.”

tyler stood and brushed off his sweatshirt. “could we meet again, do you think? same place tomorrow?”

“yeah,” was the boy’s response. his smile grew, and tyler felt himself reflect the action. “see you then.” they parted ways, walking in opposite directions, and tyler found the cold wind far less pleasant than the heat that radiated off him. he wished he hadn't left-- he longed to turn back and insist they stay together until sunrise. or maybe after sunrise-- tyler wanted to watch it with him. he wanted to see how the array of warm shades reflected in his eyes and how the sound of birds made him smile.

tyler pulled himself out of the trance. he was delirious. the stranger couldn't have been that pretty; in the dim light, he could barely see his face.

it wasn't until he was in his driveway that he noticed he forgot to ask the stranger’s name.


End file.
